Out of the Pen - David Dale Heckman

Observations, found prose, and other miscellany, sporadically delivered for your edification. Comments welcome!

“Updog” is a nonsense portmanteau of the words “up” and “dog”

U lost ur colonies

by David Dale Heckman | Train of Thought Derailed

The British: You must pronounce it “jag-u-ar.” You know, like it’s spelled? With a U? Bloody colonials

Also The British: Colour me honoured to be your favourable saviour

I’ll become the Bodhisattva of Consumerism

by David Dale Heckman | Train of Thought Derailed

Mindfulness has come and gone, just a fad. I’m going to get into mindlessness. The void becomes me. I am one with the hunger of the universe, the hunger of Time itself

I figured out why it declined

by David Dale Heckman | Train of Thought Derailed

Nobody wants to do a drug that sounds like “quail lewds”

But words can never hurt me

by David Dale Heckman | Train of Thought Derailed

*racks slide*

Thesaurus MKII. 7.62 point font, 120 wpm muzzle velocity. Words expand into larger synonyms inside the target, for maximum glottal stopping power

Family heirloom

by David Dale Heckman | Observed in the Wild

My mom just got back from a visit to her mom and she brought me a mysterious sweater with no tag or other identifiers. It appears to have been sized to fit The Heavy from TF2, the shoulders are about 6 feet broad.

“It’s hand-made,” she said.

“By grandma?”

“…No one knows”