Boy I sure do Have Thoughts bout the new Legend of Zelda: It’s Actually Zelda big surprise, me the Ocarina of Time boomer is not pleased. But hear me out One! I don’t like this art style. I was ambivalent about the toybox, Duplo-man look for Link’s Awakening Reboot, but…at least for that game it was taking ancient Game Boy graphics and doing something different and sorta interesting with them. And it kinda makes sense for a remake to evoke a childhood toybox nostalgia kind of vibe. For a pseudo-main-line, totally original game? Not a fan.
I wanted Zelda’s first protagonist appearance to look…good. As good as they can make it. TBH I would want it in a 3d game, but it still COULD have been good-looking in 2d. Duplo-Zelda ain’t it. Think about the really good 2d LoZs people really like, Link to the Past, Minish…Those are great, and hold up to this day, because they had well-thought-out, charming, evocative spritework. Not glossy 3d rendered cylinder people in a top-down view. Making Zelda’s first playable character a weird little toy…sits wrong with me.
This leads to my second gripe: Zelda woulda been a better protagonist for BotW/TotK than Link was. In those games, Link gets a magic ipad that gives him interesting physics based powers. Sorta like magic spells. You know who has magic powers? Who literally has telekinesis? Zelda does. It feels like a missed opportunity. In the trailer, Zelda’s magic seems to be the ability to summon furniture and rocks and clones of enemies. This also sits wrong with me. It feels disempowering. It distances the hero from the heroics. Puts a layer up.
Let her throw ENEMIES into other enemies! Let her swirl around and reflect projectiles to kill! Let her use illusions and mind control to resolve encounters! Or, hell, let her melt people’s faces!!! Summonable objects and getting clones to fight for you feels like…the video game equivalent of using “passive voice” instead of “active voice.” Chairs were summoned and hurled. By Zelda. Clones were made, puzzles were solved, Hyrule was saved, mistakes were made. So, since you’re doubtless dying to know, here’s what I’d have done…
I don’t like BotTotWK’s open world. It’s just…not Legend of Zelda to me. But whatever, you could keep it. What should have happened is: Link and Zelda are both playable. Equal partners. One’s following you controlled by AI and you can hot swap over to them at any time. Link is tough, has sword and shield and lots of gimmicky gadgets. Zelda is magical, has cool physics manipulation and healing spells and maybe a bow or something. They have different playstyles. Neither is rescuing the other. Their love and friendship takes center stage.
Having the story be “Guh-hyuck, now LINK has to be rescued by ZELDA! What a heckin’ swticheroonie” feels…hacky. Like the most obvious choice. The one ChatGPT would come up with. The trope of the subverted trope. This is kinda the least of my gripes, but it’s still there.
If I were a woman, I could have a lot more credibility here, but I’m gonna say it anyway: Echoes of Wisdom doesn’t feel very feminist. It feels like it’s abstracting and depowering a famous female character, saying, “Oh, she can’t possibly do the SAME gameplay as the males…Here’s a more ‘female themed’ gameplay concept. She collects stuff. She arranges furniture.”
Maybe I’m off base here. We’ll see when the game comes out.
TL;DR Nintendo hire me I’m available I will write you the best Zelda game ever to shake Apollo’s gilded halls